| ughhh...i dunno : v / |
[Jul. 14th, 2004|09:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | depressing songs | ] |
today i watched autumn and bailey....Pat called...Yay!!! going to highschool! this friday i have a doctors apointment at 3 :'( .last friday i went to rock n' roller skate : v D. my life is soooo messed up as of now. trying to make ppl happy, along w/ myself and trying to screw my head on. as of now biggest fear: letting everybody down.
anywayz...CHOYCE- going skating is a mayb, killing ur ex definitly......MANDY- dont move....ill miss u even more!! :'(...Mom and Dad- trying to get the best grades ever....MYSELF- dont wanna say... |
|
|
| lately |
[Apr. 22nd, 2004|10:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | britney spears: everytime | ] |
lately its seemed like i cant live with myself.....i hate myself. I want to b sombody thats not me.....nobody icare about cares back...nobody really cares.... my friends.....right now i dont call them friends...im hurting inside and they dont see.....i want friends who care....i wish i could start all over again......nobody sees that im hurting...i wanna just cry and cry and cry...but ive cried and cant cry any more.......i want to start new.....with a different atitude....but i cant ....and i guess ill just have to be here...now...and stick it out...but how?......my sis is never there....my parents dont really care....i cant talk to anyone and let it all out....so who do i see? where do i go?what do i do?theres nobody her...nobody there. im lost and need help...but theres nobody who cares |
|
|
| stressed |
[Apr. 12th, 2004|08:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I havent posted in a while......ive been suicidal,upset,pissed off, happy & more!!! as of right now i wanna strangle every teacher in my school....long story short lately ive been running into trouble.....ive got 2 reports due, a test 2 do, weight 2 lose and im sooooooooo going 2 burst into a million pieces right now.....
------------------------------poem--------------------------------
sure i put on a show...
i act like i dont care,
i act as if ur not there...
but i c it in ur eyes
i kno wat u kno...
nobody cares.....
SO just get on w/ur life nobodies lookin....
go ahead its not like ull kill ur reputation....
reputations are dumb...
and ur friends are azzs
but ur just going along w/ it
u dont blieve a word they say
u dont care about wat they think
so stop hanging around w/them
u lazy azz
u mean nothing to me
so just stop
and leave me be
i care for u no longer
u look at me with a stare
ur every where i go
and i really dont care
so just take a hike
and get friends who care
bcuz as of right now
i need 2 b |
|
|
| friend is over |
[Feb. 22nd, 2004|03:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of my best frirend's laughter | ] |
my best friend is over right now.......had autumn over yesterday.....eating popcorn..........I LOVE U MANDY-----[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<im [...] u.......i>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] my best friend is over right now.......had autumn over yesterday.....eating popcorn..........I LOVE U MANDY-----<im not mad at u.......i hope ur not mad at me>.......i'll respond again later |
|
|
| GRRRRR |
[Feb. 21st, 2004|09:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | everything bad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE | ] |
AOL IS BEING SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I WENT ON THIS SITE I ALREADY HAVE PERMISSION 4 AND IT IS SAYING THAT IT IS NOT PERMITED..........AUGH@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!@@1@!@!@@!!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!autumn can speak 16 words in counting,she loves her new bed we gave her........she is so cute.............im bored,tired and sick....... |
|
|
| lately....... |
[Feb. 16th, 2004|09:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MUSIC | ] |
lately it just seems like i wanna die, my head has been hurting everynight,everyday.......i think im starting 2 get my moms migrane headaches.....i cant concentrate,i try 2 not think about them but there just there....i feel as if i am a curse,whenever i am somewhere i feel as though it stinks,but when i leave that place, it ALWAYS gets better.....i think that i just shouldn't b neware........choyce, srry ....i kno i have been making u feel unwanted lately...and i am really srry, i just really feel as if i have a deathly illness........today my dad's car is broken,josh almost killed the dog mandy doesn't care[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<she [...] prob.>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] lately it just seems like i wanna die, my head has been hurting everynight,everyday.......i think im starting 2 get my moms migrane headaches.....i cant concentrate,i try 2 not think about them but there just there....i feel as if i am a curse,whenever i am somewhere i feel as though it stinks,but when i leave that place, it ALWAYS gets better.....i think that i just shouldn't b neware........choyce, srry ....i kno i have been making u feel unwanted lately...and i am really srry, i just really feel as if i have a deathly illness<well i hope newayz>........today my dad's car is broken,josh almost killed the dog mandy doesn't care<she prob. wants the dog dead and is sad she isnt dead>mandy got her keyboard,and au revoir mes amis!!!!!! |
|
|
| lately....... |
[Feb. 16th, 2004|09:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MUSIC | ] |
lately it just seems like i wanna die, my head has been hurting everynight,everyday.......i think im starting 2 get my moms migrane headaches.....i cant concentrate,i try 2 not think about them but there just there....i feel as if i am a curse,whenever i am somewhere i feel as though it stinks,but when i leave that place, it ALWAYS gets better.....i think that i just shouldn't b neware........choyce, srry ....i kno i have been making u feel unwanted lately...and i am really srry, i just really feel as if i have a deathly illness........today my dad's car is broken,josh almost killed the dog mandy doesn't care[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<she [...] prob.>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] lately it just seems like i wanna die, my head has been hurting everynight,everyday.......i think im starting 2 get my moms migrane headaches.....i cant concentrate,i try 2 not think about them but there just there....i feel as if i am a curse,whenever i am somewhere i feel as though it stinks,but when i leave that place, it ALWAYS gets better.....i think that i just shouldn't b neware........choyce, srry ....i kno i have been making u feel unwanted lately...and i am really srry, i just really feel as if i have a deathly illness<well i hope newayz>........today my dad's car is broken,josh almost killed the dog mandy doesn't care<she prob. wants the dog dead and is sad she isnt dead>mandy got her keyboard,and au revoir mes amis!!!!!! |
|
|
| poems |
[Feb. 12th, 2004|08:42 pm] |
Whenever something happens
We cherish it forever
Whenever nothing happens
We just forget it forevever
-------------------------------
Friends are good
Friends are bad
Friends are everything we have
--------------------------
Its only me.
Why just me?
I am put in a dilemma
Where i just have to choose
I wish i could get out of here
There's nothing else i have to loose
I've lost the happy,my dignity and my soul
Frankly I just want to die,for at least that is my goal
Maybe not today,definitely not tommorow,but someday i'll be left to die
Just maybe,yeah maybe my soul will be able to fly
I wish i could,i wish i would just kill myself today
If only ppl get it
My life is not a toy
You can't play and play,then just walk away
I have feelings,I have rights
Someday i guess I will see which way is right
Maybe it is death maybe it is life
I know where i am now
Its not heaven and it isn't earth
For the only place left i could be is in a cold place
A place called hell
Hell is full of sad and dead things
Wanting to get you
Just waiting for you to lie
Lie dead in the grass
Or dead in the pool
Or dead in your bedroom all set for a date
For Death comes in a many shape and size...u cannot see it
Otherwise you would kill it for others to see
What would you get when you've killed Death?
Death is what you get
You cannot kill it
It is there waiting for me
Living, Breathing inside my soul...
Laughing and waiting for my turn to go
I believe that i am next on the list
If you do get it
Do not be afraid
Death does not hurt
It only stings like a shot
So come join this list
To make death happy |
|
|
| blah |
[Feb. 12th, 2004|08:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Evanescence-My Immortal | ] |
today i wrote more poems, decided 2 go 2 the dance and watch the f****** couples dance and do nothing.....in school we finished the stupid a++ movie[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<i [...] movie(it>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] today i wrote more poems, decided 2 go 2 the dance and watch the f****** couples dance and do nothing.....in school we finished the stupid a++ movie<i hated the movie(it sucked)liked the book better>.....in reading the skool had a code gray(intruder in the building).....social studies well...i wouldnt kno cuz i left the room....french took a quiz....science listened 2 mr gunnison make fun of his wife....english finishe the movie that i talked about.....math listened 2 miss hoffner throw a hissy fit...music listen 2 mrs. maynord yell at the class 4 something...other than that my day sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2004|09:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Christina A.-Voice with in | ] |
i dont think that my project will not turn out good anymore...ppl are losing there interest in it...if only there was some way of getting ppl back into the project...then i am ok...but they are forgetting the main porpose....i am losing my mind bcuz i want more ppl helping out,but my friend wants only some ppl helping.....cassie doesn't want 2 help out at all....i have no clue y,did i do something 2 her that i dont kno of?..i hope not....cassie and michelle keep sending me stuff...and i am replying back,so i guess they r still my friends sort of i guess....choyce do not get mad at me but i am going w/my instincts and am leaving everyone alone,just in case i did do something...ok? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2004|08:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of Autumn's laughter | ] |
today autumn is over...she is sleeping over night.....i luv her....2morrow my sis is coming home.....i can't wait!....i wanna get out of french but my mom wont let me.........i want 2 say that i can trust all my friends...but at this point i don't kno who 2 trust[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<no [...] can't>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] today autumn is over...she is sleeping over night.....i luv her....2morrow my sis is coming home.....i can't wait!....i wanna get out of french but my mom wont let me.........i want 2 say that i can trust all my friends...but at this point i don't kno who 2 trust<no affense choyce.....it's just i can't ne1even though i trust u>...i want ppl 2 help w/the fundraiser but cassie wont help and i don't kno y.....next week is the dance ...i dont even want 2 go.....its gonna b full of love songs newayz.....i'll go next month...itt'l b better then rather than friday the 13th |
|
|
| today sucked |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|08:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pink- troubled | ] |
i got a really bad headache 2day...........other than that my day sucked..... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2004|03:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kelis - Milkshake | ] |
today has been good so far ....my best friend is over today...like i said she is staying over....no new shoes or coat today but thats ok-neways im havin fun so far....i wonder wats gonna happin 2 nite...anyways thats my day |
|
|
| boring |
[Jan. 17th, 2004|09:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Clay Aiken - Invisible | ] |
today was boring,as usual....2morrow i get 2 have a sleep-over w/ my best friend choyce!-can't wait till then!..anywaz i had the most boring day other than that...its realy dull in the house.. i think i need 2 get out more....tomorow i get 2 buy new shoes though...and a new coat!....other than that i did nothing but watch tv,play the computer and answer the phone...o well.---- i need friends who like the same music as me!... |
|
|
| augh... |
[Jan. 14th, 2004|08:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sympathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sara McLachlan - Angel | ] |
today was so stupid....In class she always yells at these 4 kids in my class...she called the intervention room for 1 kid....she slamms the door,screams out "why the hell do you guys keep torturing me,or don't u guys get it?he stayed bck,do u wanna stay back w/him?,i'm the 1 who grades u guys,dont b crying 2 me when u stay back bcuz u fooled around second term".......she swears alot...i can only think that she has mood swings.....she wouldn't let me and my friend choyce go to the buddy program [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<it [...] &physically>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] today was so stupid....<well miss fitzgerald anyways>In class she always yells at these 4 kids in my class...she called the intervention room for 1 kid....she slamms the door,screams out "why the hell do you guys keep torturing me,or don't u guys get it?he stayed bck,do u wanna stay back w/him?,i'm the 1 who grades u guys,dont b crying 2 me when u stay back bcuz u fooled around second term".......she swears alot...i can only think that she has mood swings.....she wouldn't let me and my friend choyce go to the buddy program <it is a program where you help the mentally &physically challenged>....anyways other than that my day was good....im tlking 2 michelle again and i am at this point ready 2 break in half.....in more ways than one |
|
|
| I'm back! |
[Jan. 13th, 2004|09:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Hey guys, I'm back! but its time for bed, nite
~Paige-y |
|
|
| my poem i just wrote |
[Aug. 28th, 2003|08:20 pm] |
*Memories*
Where did the years go?
They flew by so fast
I miss them so much
Yes i miss my past
Like it was yesterday
I remember in the fifth grade
I made a new friend
Exept for her it wasnt the end
In the sixth grade i got rejected by trisha
But in the eith was alyssa
I also remember in the seventh grade
I was quiet and ashamed
Ashamed that i was big and fat
Not that i was a pig or anything like that
I can not say
What will happen in the eighth grade
So these are some of my memories
T.T.F.N.
Ta.Ta.For.Now |
|
|
| autumn!! |
[Aug. 12th, 2003|09:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | buety and the beast -gaston | ] |
yay...autummn came ovah today...she took like four steps altogether on her own ...mandy was verry helpul..more helpful than me i think...o well it is okie dokie w/me...mandie i amnot mad at u in the least...i dont want to go back to skool in 3 weeks...i want this summer to never end!!! |
|
|
| my poem..and post |
[Aug. 10th, 2003|09:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | satisfied | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Evanence-bring me to life | ] |
"favorite"
When someone picks a favorite
It really is hard reality
Your feelings get so screwy
But i guess she just hates me
Days become weeks to months
Minutes become hours to days
Everything becomes so foggy
And you wish you could clear your way
You want to just scream and burst!
But you dont want to make yourself hurt
You wonder, what do i do next
I should probobly do what is best
Exept it hurts really bad
When someone picks a favorite.
..........................................................
i made this poem when i got into a fight w/my mom..u see my mom let my sister go on like 20 min. early...i didnt even go on for 1 min....turns out she went on that day also like 02 times...i was the one who watched my niece all day...mandy was downsatairs almost all day....i dont think that,that is fare....i do extra, mandie does little,and gets more time..not fare at all i say.
..................................................................
what has happened: a fight...rain,rain and more rain!to deaths in the family, a family trip....i got to get a bson tooth...and a mood ring(it is in a shape of a butterfly ;รพ)...and nothing else but that ithink i could think |
|
|
| summer |
[Jul. 15th, 2003|05:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kelly Clarkson-Miss independant | ] |
i also 4got that my sis is complaining up a storm ...i get a new bed and beriow |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
autumna3's journal